I've really struggled lately with how my body looks; not because of the changes I've made but how my body hasn't really "fixed" itself.
While everyone is stuck doing at home workouts, running and staying active outdoor; I'm doing the same. In this odd time we're living in it make fitness a little difficult, if you let it.
I've chosen to make use of my time. I'm not letting the fact that gyms are not open and working from home stop me from staying fit/active. I'm keeping myself active whether its a run around town or a workout at home. I'm also monitoring my diet and calorie intake.
My second bedroom has become a little bit of a workout room. I don't have a lot of equipment. Very little actually. I've got about eighty pounds worth weights, some resistance bands, an exercise mat and the full intention of using my time wisely.
Just a little over seven years ago I decided to make a change. I didn't want to be the token fat guy in my group. I didn't want to succumb to fate, to genetics. There's a history of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc in my family on both sides. There is no reason why I can't do my best to put off, slow down or even stop these issues from happening. Has my life change in diet and exercise made a difference? Only time will tell.
The biggest struggle I have had in the last few weeks, months really, has been HOW my body looks. I know that may sound like everyone else who's made an effort to lose weight or gain weight; whatever. I'm not happy with HOW my body has adapted to the changes I've lost roughly 70 pounds in weight but that doesn't account for how much actual fat I've lost and muscle I've gained. That's not my struggle/issue. I'm honestly proud of the hard work that I've put in over the last few years. I've yo-yo'ed in my weight, I've done really great in the gym and then I've also done horrible, losing motivation here and there for different reasons.
When I look in the mirror I can see the changes my body has made and seen. I've seen how far I've come. I'm proud; without sounding boastful, of the work I've put in. The biggest change hasn't been physical but it's been the mental. Often times in a weight loss journey the person still sees themselves as the former self. I have and sometimes I still do. There are others too; I'm sure, who look in the mirror and are not happy with how they look.
Whenever someone has been bigger or overweight their skin stretches and causes stretch marks. I've got my fair share of them. My freshman year of high school I went from 180 pounds to 220 pounds in a matter of months. Growing is part of life but I wasn't growing vertically as much as I was growing horizontally. My waist size was a good size 36/38 and wore an extra large shirt. Even my senior year I ended up wearing a 2XL shirt out of embarrassment of my body. I was fat. I knew that. I hated it.
As I have lost weight in this journey I lost inches in my waist, and everywhere else. I went from wearing a size 38 or 40 (depending on the brand) & an extra large shirt to a size 31 and a medium (sometimes large) shirt. That's a big difference. I saw my body change in ways I never though possible. With all that I lost I also became aware of the extra. Extra energy, extra pep in my step, extra confidence, and EXTRA SKIN. That's where my dilemma is: the extra skin. It's there, I need to get used to it. While I don't have the amount that some people do when they lose weight I still have it. It's become a source of insecurity. Really the question is: why?
Why has this become a source of insecurity in a person who has become more confident? Body image and self image play a huge part in this. Many people struggle with how their body looks. I'm one of those many people. I look in the mirror and I see fat and extra skin that I just can't seem to get rid of. How can I truly be confident in who I am and be proud of my weight loss journey if I can't see past the insecurities?
Simple
LOOK PAST THEM!!!
Why do I have to let these minor details set me back, hold me back? That's a good question.... I don't know. Maybe throughout my life I have been so insecure about how I look and how people treat me that I'm casting this on my current self. As a younger person I was made fun of, picked on, "bullied" because I was different. I get that, and sadly it's part of life. Maybe I'm letting all those things that were said and directed at me hold me back. At thirty six years old should I really let those things bother me?
NO!!!
If the people who teased me, made fun of me, talked bad about me could see me know I bet that they would be shocked, surprised and probably start cheering me on. Heck, even the people who have known me the last seven years see the difference and continue to cheer me on. Why, again, should I continue to cast these insecurities on myself?
I really don't have an answer. As I have been working out at home during this pandemic that is COVID-19 over the last few weeks I've been surprised at how much I can actually do. I've actually worked out at home 14 out of 15 days, or gone running or both. I've really enjoyed it. I've been able to film/video myself working out so that I can watch my form and work on correcting bad posture or form as I continue working out at home. It's been fun to watch these videos and post them. I don't always see how hard I work, until I watch these self-shot videos and pictures. I've even posted quite a few on my social media channels in hopes that it will inspire others to workout at home and better themselves. I think it's funny that I've posted so many of my videos and pictures and I'm SHIRTLESS!
How can someone who is body insecure be willing to post shirtless photos and videos and not be worried about what people think?!
I think for me it's a way to show others that it's okay to have loose skin, to still have areas of our bodies that we need to work on. I find it kind of ironic that I'm willing to post these yet feel insecure at the same time. I've followed the journey of a guy (obesetobeast) on Instagram for the last few years and I've seen how he discusses loose skin and how he handles it. I love the body positive attitude that he projects, and lives by. It's been very encouraging to see his journey and see what he says about loose skin. Granted he's lost WAY more weight than I have but he's done amazing things and it's amazing to watch his journey.
All this to say that one thing that I've had to struggle with and teach myself about it learning to be positive and not always see the negative.
Remember when you look in the mirror, you will see flaws, but learn to look past them. Look at the wins, the good things that have come out of a journey like this. Everyone's journey is going to look different and others will see different victories and struggles along the way.
Yes, you may not always be happy or excited with the results BUT the positive side is you've learned how to change and to look at the changes that have been made in a weight loss journey. Weight lost and weight gained. Goals met and crush; goals not met and feelings of defeat. We all see different triumphs, and sometimes defeats, but that SHOULD NOT stop us from continuing on.
A journey is never a straight path, sometimes there are forks in the road and decisions and u-turns have to happen. Choices have to be , sometimes you have to say no and sometimes you say yes.
All in all we should be proud of the journeys we are on.
Different paths all with the same goal, to become a life that is transformed for the better!!!
Just a little over seven years ago I decided to make a change. I didn't want to be the token fat guy in my group. I didn't want to succumb to fate, to genetics. There's a history of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc in my family on both sides. There is no reason why I can't do my best to put off, slow down or even stop these issues from happening. Has my life change in diet and exercise made a difference? Only time will tell.
The biggest struggle I have had in the last few weeks, months really, has been HOW my body looks. I know that may sound like everyone else who's made an effort to lose weight or gain weight; whatever. I'm not happy with HOW my body has adapted to the changes I've lost roughly 70 pounds in weight but that doesn't account for how much actual fat I've lost and muscle I've gained. That's not my struggle/issue. I'm honestly proud of the hard work that I've put in over the last few years. I've yo-yo'ed in my weight, I've done really great in the gym and then I've also done horrible, losing motivation here and there for different reasons.
When I look in the mirror I can see the changes my body has made and seen. I've seen how far I've come. I'm proud; without sounding boastful, of the work I've put in. The biggest change hasn't been physical but it's been the mental. Often times in a weight loss journey the person still sees themselves as the former self. I have and sometimes I still do. There are others too; I'm sure, who look in the mirror and are not happy with how they look.
Whenever someone has been bigger or overweight their skin stretches and causes stretch marks. I've got my fair share of them. My freshman year of high school I went from 180 pounds to 220 pounds in a matter of months. Growing is part of life but I wasn't growing vertically as much as I was growing horizontally. My waist size was a good size 36/38 and wore an extra large shirt. Even my senior year I ended up wearing a 2XL shirt out of embarrassment of my body. I was fat. I knew that. I hated it.
As I have lost weight in this journey I lost inches in my waist, and everywhere else. I went from wearing a size 38 or 40 (depending on the brand) & an extra large shirt to a size 31 and a medium (sometimes large) shirt. That's a big difference. I saw my body change in ways I never though possible. With all that I lost I also became aware of the extra. Extra energy, extra pep in my step, extra confidence, and EXTRA SKIN. That's where my dilemma is: the extra skin. It's there, I need to get used to it. While I don't have the amount that some people do when they lose weight I still have it. It's become a source of insecurity. Really the question is: why?
Why has this become a source of insecurity in a person who has become more confident? Body image and self image play a huge part in this. Many people struggle with how their body looks. I'm one of those many people. I look in the mirror and I see fat and extra skin that I just can't seem to get rid of. How can I truly be confident in who I am and be proud of my weight loss journey if I can't see past the insecurities?
Simple
LOOK PAST THEM!!!
Why do I have to let these minor details set me back, hold me back? That's a good question.... I don't know. Maybe throughout my life I have been so insecure about how I look and how people treat me that I'm casting this on my current self. As a younger person I was made fun of, picked on, "bullied" because I was different. I get that, and sadly it's part of life. Maybe I'm letting all those things that were said and directed at me hold me back. At thirty six years old should I really let those things bother me?
NO!!!
If the people who teased me, made fun of me, talked bad about me could see me know I bet that they would be shocked, surprised and probably start cheering me on. Heck, even the people who have known me the last seven years see the difference and continue to cheer me on. Why, again, should I continue to cast these insecurities on myself?
I really don't have an answer. As I have been working out at home during this pandemic that is COVID-19 over the last few weeks I've been surprised at how much I can actually do. I've actually worked out at home 14 out of 15 days, or gone running or both. I've really enjoyed it. I've been able to film/video myself working out so that I can watch my form and work on correcting bad posture or form as I continue working out at home. It's been fun to watch these videos and post them. I don't always see how hard I work, until I watch these self-shot videos and pictures. I've even posted quite a few on my social media channels in hopes that it will inspire others to workout at home and better themselves. I think it's funny that I've posted so many of my videos and pictures and I'm SHIRTLESS!
How can someone who is body insecure be willing to post shirtless photos and videos and not be worried about what people think?!
I think for me it's a way to show others that it's okay to have loose skin, to still have areas of our bodies that we need to work on. I find it kind of ironic that I'm willing to post these yet feel insecure at the same time. I've followed the journey of a guy (obesetobeast) on Instagram for the last few years and I've seen how he discusses loose skin and how he handles it. I love the body positive attitude that he projects, and lives by. It's been very encouraging to see his journey and see what he says about loose skin. Granted he's lost WAY more weight than I have but he's done amazing things and it's amazing to watch his journey.
All this to say that one thing that I've had to struggle with and teach myself about it learning to be positive and not always see the negative.
Remember when you look in the mirror, you will see flaws, but learn to look past them. Look at the wins, the good things that have come out of a journey like this. Everyone's journey is going to look different and others will see different victories and struggles along the way.
Yes, you may not always be happy or excited with the results BUT the positive side is you've learned how to change and to look at the changes that have been made in a weight loss journey. Weight lost and weight gained. Goals met and crush; goals not met and feelings of defeat. We all see different triumphs, and sometimes defeats, but that SHOULD NOT stop us from continuing on.
A journey is never a straight path, sometimes there are forks in the road and decisions and u-turns have to happen. Choices have to be , sometimes you have to say no and sometimes you say yes.
All in all we should be proud of the journeys we are on.
Different paths all with the same goal, to become a life that is transformed for the better!!!
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